Mad Decent

I got invited to Cuba by Residente from Calle 13... Me and Switch were in Jamaica workin on some new stuff and we thought .. yes, this sounds like just ridiculous enough of an offer. (by the way, I havent been home in 8 weeks.. and I'm not even on tour! I dont even know where home is.) My studio is strictly where the 1/8 jack is laid out.. it's like I work at the bookmobile..

But anyway, back to Calle 13. If you dont know they are, they are probably the most important Puerto Rican sound to come around since Fania Ny days. They are already 13 grammies deep and have played soccer stadiums from Ecuador, Chile, Bolivia and spain.  Tonight they are at the Miami arena with Tego Calderon. So, Calle 13 is a pretty big deal.. bigger than that .. they represent a pro-independence rebel attitude in their native Puerto Rico. In a scene where designer clothes & and cheesy love songs are still the safe majority in reggaeton, C13 have been workin against the grain with hi concept records for 5 years…and they feel like a one big family. Me & Switch were in good hands, probably better then we deserved.. 

First thing that we needed was a visa, which is imposisble as an American..but somehow we got it. I even got a flight somehow after the SXSW Mad Decent royal rumble late night  to Miami to make it to Havana on a weird charter flight by air Bolivia on Monday morning. Calle was playin a show in Havana in the middle of the day on tuesday. In Havana the minister of culture met us at the airport. The cubans flying back to Miami were a mad crew…people jumped off the plane to kiss the ground and be back home, lots of them had furniture from Wal-Mart checked in as luggage they bought Sunday night. Another of my favorite embargo customs tricks were a guy wearing 30 cowboy hats on his head to avoid getting his bag searched.. (Switch didn't understand this embargo business, he had a giant suitcase filled with dirty laundry form Jamaica that he thought was normal and he was thoroughly searched for 3 hours while I slept on the grass next to a 57 Chevy outside the airport.. He passed the time by watch Breakin' Bad episode on iTunes in customs).

Once out we got a ride up to Havana city to check in and eat some lunch. We had minced meat and olives and rice pretty much every meal. It was like gourmet hamburger helper with weird pickled peppers on top…and rum straight up.

First thing you notice about Cuba is the time warp. There's a lot of new Korean, French and Chinese cars... but half the road is filled with 70's Russian Volvo lookin things and 50's American cars.. they are sick. Chevys, Buicks, Dodges--some pristine with shiny paint jobs--some barely runnin and hollowed out. Almost all have some weird Russian engine block duct-taped together. You even see some Mercedes and BMWs. The second thing you notice is the lack of advertisements. There is never a billboard around with a Coke or Toyota or an AT&T ad.  This might not sound like a big deal, but it's a big fuckin deal. It was really easy on my eyes. It's alarming how calm it is with no brain-melting ads to look at, but instead of ads there was lots of crazy 70's typeface propaganda everywhere. This might be annoying if i had to look at a GWBush  paintings with upside down exclamation marks and Spanish written everywhere,  but actually for me it was really charming. Lots of pleasant anti-imperialist ads, self-help public service ads and pro-revolution, Jose Marti, Fidel, and Che ads everywhere--they are like the dream team of Cuban iconography. The third thing you notice is that there is a baseball game on every corner and they hit the balls aimlessly into the streets.  I would imagine that most the crime in Havana stems from baseballs hitting '57 Chevys..

Havana is one of the safest cities in the world. It seems very militarized but you never ever find a place where you would feel threatened (except maybe next to the US embassy.. but ill mention that later) There is also a lack of slums. Maybe it was 'cause kids are afraid of getting their asses kicked by militars in a cuban jail for 7 years for stealin some sneakers,... but really I dont think kids cared, cause its not really cool to floss in cuba.. its just doesnt make sense. Even when we went to remote areas  that looked like the frontier its hard to define class in between neighborhoods (duh, it's communism.. .. but it was strange to me.)

The first day I get to hang with Calle 13 (who btw way are onto some fainting girl, Micheal Jackson Justin Beiber shit out there) and we went to this famous art museum, Casa Tomada, where we got free coffee and I took mad photos of cuban contemporary art. Art and music are like a big big big deal for Cuban people. I think 80 percent of the cubans can play an instrument and it seems like art and film and medicine are revered.

The art was cool and the q/a was cool but I wandered off to find some more rum and smoke this Gloria Estefan some kid gave me.

Ended up in some park. We tried to sit through this lecture, but our lack of habla was really apparent and Switch was more curious as to how many shots of rum he could buy with ten pesos (the answer was 7!) and I swear you couldn't pay people to make a park this crowded in the USA. There was like 15 baseball games goin on inside the runners circle. I think there was even a kid tryin to play soccer but he was getting chased off with baseball bats.

100 old people runnin laps around each other.. some lady doin afrosamba falan gong .. some 100 year-old dude doin pull ups on a soviet crane--Shit, I was startin to think that the mince meat had superstrength powers.. or maybe it was the lack of internet and video games that made everyone go to the park out of boredom. Anyway, I was feelin it.

I walked back to my hotel on the north coast of Matecombs and saw the sunset and then drank more rum. We went to some party and I smoked on cuban cigerattes and i think i passed out on a couch. Anyway,  day two started and I had to shower off the 2 bottles of rum and act like I had a purpose. Today was Calle 13's show and I heard the sound check around the corner. The stage was set up just four blocks away from the Hotel Nacionel. 

The Gulf of Mexico on the left, the city on the right and our hotel just in front. (oh yeah and the US embassy.. right behind). They expected a couple of cubans to get out of school early and head down to the sea.. maybe like 60,000 of them...

I went to down behind the stage. It had a nice name, something like the anti-imperialistic monument.. .. the funny thing was it was built with great signs that read "we will be victorious".. "patriotism or die"  and it's built directly in front the the US embassy.  

Actually its called the US Special Interest building and it's only special interest is to overthrow Castro, which I find pretty ridiculous to be there at all..... it was a pretty dismal place…and it's relationship with Cuba read like a Simpsons episode The US used the building's top floor to broadcast news for years…

(fun stuff like .. YOUR REVOLUTION IS FUTILE, CASTRO IS A TYRANT AND A DICTATOR...  and because of that, Cuba built 100 giant flag poles with giant black flags  right in front of the building so u couldn't read the news anymore.

HA! That's just funny you guys.. stop! Anyway they turned off the news and Cuba took down most the flags, but left a couple of Cuban ones up for good measure…just in cast the giant monument wasn't annoying enough for all the Americans that sit there everyday waiting for Fidel to die.

I called Tracy and got these crazy Adidas Cuban baseball jerseys.. Adidas is runnin shit.. so much that they actualy have an endorsement deal with Castro himself…BOOM!

So let's get to the show. It wasnt a small one.. there were 200,000 Cubans there for this.... on a tuesday…mid-day…every kind of person.. black, white, children, men in suits, women (on their boyfriends shoulders) painted with Calle 13 on their face. The energy was crazy from the intro, which boomed a huge cumbia reggaeton beat... I don't understand much spanish. 

People were crowdin on roofs on stilts .. on anything to see this show.

You  can catch reviews here:

Oh yeah,  and Gloria Estefan hates us!

Even I got a lot of people on Twitter givin me hell.. most I've seen for something I've done! (and I've got plenty of haters! luv ya!) and I was just there as a spectator. Rene said it best as ... I'm there for the people .. not the politicians. "  They like his music and the government at least appreciated Calle 13's message of US dissention..Anyway, somewhere here the USA and cuba agreed cause we got visas to be here. In fact, they told us at the airport they are building it bigger to brace for a US invasion (of tourists).  The country is only 90 miles from us and it is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been too, so let's hope it can withstand our invasion. There was a couple of kids here and there that would speak to us about how they love the USA and would wish Cuba was even annexed?!? Some kid with his Nike hat and american shirt had some words for us…and I didn't see a van pull up and drag him  away. I guess big brother in cuba has more pressing matters...like building art galleries and putting together public service ads on walls.

We all hung out after the show and I think I drank a whole bottle of havana club myself. Me and Switch go to DJ a bit at the Puerto Rican embassy (the only one in the world! Puerto Rico.. hooo!) and we met Che Guevara's grandson (in the middle here).

And I got to take pictures of really hot girls smoking cigars (they really are everywhere).

So I played a bit here…Calle 13's DJ blass remix was pretty Huge.. played some Maluca…some Uproot Andy…some Major Lazer (a Calle 13 request) and a pretty typical non-spanish speaking gringo Dj set in a communist country. The next party was kinda mad. It was a pretty famous club in Cuba  and this lady was singing salsa and everyone was lookin kinda rich or tourist or gangster and Switch was like.. yeah good luck tryin to DJ this. He said he'd give me 100 bucks if i didn't make everyone leave.

And then.. i drank another bottle of havana club with a girl that looked like John Lennon.

And played Davenada "moombahton" records (slowed down dutch house) and it kinda rocked…till i turned my computer off in the middle of a song (actually, Rene's sister did it)…but hey I got it back on. Btw, I DJed via iTunes and a headfone jack. Forget Serato or cds or whatever…that's just not poppin down there! The DJ at the club begged me for music so I gave him the most eclectic weird mix of techno house garage major lazer wierdo music I've ever made.. let's see whats gonna come from that! After this it was like 5 am and I think I built a rum cocoon around my body and slept on a gutter by the Hotel Nacional.

The next two days after the show we got taken around Cuba, like Micheal Jackson style, with police escorts on a bus through the country side. We visited the national film school, but we weren't the first. There were paintings from Martin Scorsese and Speilberg and other artists that had been to do free lectures over the last 40 years all over the walls.

Calle 13 would eventually do one before they left.. .. they showed us the dorms, the audio room and the editing suites. It was pretty amazing to see film school in Cuba. If you didn't' know,  Cuban cinema in the 50's and 60's is landmark and famous throughout the cinema world!  (i went to film school! BOOOM!) soy cuba, strawberry and chocolate.. etc..

This is the only place me and Switch were recognized…by some Brazilian kids…some Domincan kids…even one super cool lookin Tanzanian girl that lived in the Virgin Islands and then moved to Havana for film school (she just seemed like the coolest girl i've ever met in my life).

All the students here go to school for free.--and only a fraction of them are Cubans. College education is free throughout Cuba, so its a haven for students  (that get scholarships) and mostly it is famous for medical schools (that's where I met the only other Americans here) I dunno why but I guess this guy was really hurting from the embargo cause he guarded this thousand island dressing with his life!!

Then next we went out to this mad Cuban elementary school where the kids acted out a whole nationalistic play for us on the steps.. i didn't understand any of it, but the school has some sort of Puerto Rican/Cuban crossover thing goin on and I think that's why we were there... there were pictures of this guy everywhere. 

He seemed to be all over the place in Cuba.  We also got to eat the best donuts I've ever eaten in my life. In fact, it's probably the best coffee I've ever had too, but I don't really know coffee (I drink TEA!)  but ever one loves coffee (they even put it in the baby bottles ). 

I also liked this picture of a bug that looks like an extra from the Simpsons.

A picture of switch

There was lots of talk about revolucion.

And some guava juice and really good coffee too. Damn, by now I'm so tired and we are back to Havana. Rene is pretty much flagged down everywhere.. 

He's the Micheal Jackson of Latin America as far as I know! You can see people tryin to get a pic of him thru the bus window.

I found some old Russian warheads and i put some mad decent stickers on em.

More nice art

OK.  At this point my cell phone camera died. Everyone is soo tired and we are all leaving tomorrow…but we went to get one more meal. I know that you all know Cuba has got the Rum and the sandwiches, but all we ate there was minced meat!  It was every meal and we loved it.. its like hamburger helper x 100000// super good. I thought we were goin back to the hotel and sleep now.. but we had one more surprise. We were invited to the national music school to see a performance of afro-cuban dance and song. I was like, oh shit I gotta go to the bathroom and go to sleep I can barely move, but this was a big deal. They built a stage in the yard of the school. I don't know much about afro-cuban stuff... i know its a sort of end-all be-all for some collectors and its gotten famous world wide and is a very dedicated genre, but I never thought it would interest me. But damn, it was sort of the craziest thing I've ever seen--from the polyrhythms (that didn't make any sense- but they were jammin!) to the dancing... it was the best dancing I've ever seen in my life, hands down. The band had full white suits on and were doin acrobatic moves--with swords--pretending to cut themselves and swing the blades around their bodies. Then they took off the suits and pretended to stab themselves with daggers, then handstands, then epileptic seizures,  then backflips .. then the dude flew away into outerspace. I swear. Anyway, it was crazy.

The problem for me though was that I had to go to the bathroom really bad, so I went to find a toilet. I found one. It had no seat or paper and I think it didn't even work. So I went to like the 4th floor of this castle sort of building--lookin like I worked there--passed by a flim crew and found a toilet. I went to the bathroom but couldn't flush the toilet. I was embarrassed. I tried to use the sink water to put water in the top of the toilet (the handle didnt work...) and then I turned the sink on.. and the whole sink fell on the ground--I swear to god--with water shootin up everywhere. I knew the dudes in the other room heard me. Somehow I got the water turned off,  but  I couldn't go out the door.  I would have to explain what happened and no english plus stupid grin = prison in Cuba for 10 years (I thought). So I propped the sink on this tub that was full of water next to the toilet and made the best decision i could....... climb out the window. Right? I did it. I got to a ledge next to the bathroom and went down the fire escape…then into another floor and down another set of stairs behind a waiter looking guy. The whole time I thought I didn't look suspicious because they thought I was some traveling musician guy or a diplomat or something. I made it to a terrace out by the stage that was definitely full of Cuban politcos with badges. I took off my blue jacket (I was goin into disguise mode and stood there just acting natural) and then some small lady ran after me. She was whispering loudly.. come quick .. meta metaa!! or something. She was actually talking to the cleaning lady who was sitting next to me on the corner of the terrace… and she carried her away All I heard her say was banio banio!--which we all can translate-- so I snuck off of the terrace and found Switch and we sat under a tree in the corner not to be noticed. Eventually I said we gotta get out of here and we wandered off and found our way home through the dimly lit streets…and that is my Cuba story. 

We hung out with the Calle 13 family for a few hours and then we had to board flights to Miami in an hour.. to get thru customs etc….and then WMC! duDE!! which seemed soo wack in comparison to what we had just done, but hey .. I gotta make a living!

Next morning at 6am. I was somehow keepin myself awake and gettin our bags on the flight. I got my last cuban peso..(btw cuban pesos have the sickest art.. one of the notes has straight up dudes throwing molotov cocktails at a tank! that's pretty heavy for a bank note but hey!) and I traded it in to get a coloring book about Jose Marti and his magic shrimp.