Two men meet in a desert. One gentleman owns an iPhone, the other man owns a Blackberry. They exchange email addresses, hastily entering the other’s information into their respective devices.
The man with the iPhone thus spoke: “If I am permitted kind sir, may I ask what your vocation is?”
“I am a very successful party promoter.” The man with Blackberry replied.
“Ah! Perfect! For I am a DJ!” exclaimed the man with the iPhone.
“Fortune smiles upon us, even in this desert.”
“Indeed it does, my friend, indeed it does. But let us not remain here in the heat under this wretched sun, let us find shade to properly conduct a conversation in, to better acquaint ourselves.”
The two men walk for many miles until they come upon a small grove of palm trees situated on a the bank of a larger than normal fresh water pond.
“Fortune does smile upon us! Look at this lake!” Says the DJ.
“Yes, look at it! Perfect for a party! The Grand Desert Party By The Lake we should call it!” Said the Promoter with much excitement.
“Between my eclectic mp3 collection, and your many quality contacts, this will be a party the desert will soon not forget!” Said the DJ.
“Indeed! I know a very excellent group of scorpions who will do security for free so as long as they’re allowed to sell drugs to the party’s attendants.” Said the Promoter.
“Perfect! Will they offer us a discount, a sort of finder’s fee worked into the price?” Asked the DJ.
“No worries my friend, the scorpions may be creatures of a dubious nature, but they are sound business men. But enough drug talk, we must further plan The Grand Desert Party By The Lake!” Shouted the Promoter.
“Who shall we invite, for we can’t just invite any old douche bag from the desert, we must be selective. My DJing isn’t for the general buffoon.” Asserted the DJ.
“But my friend, I disagree,” interrupted the Promoter, “A party is for everyone. If we are exclusive, we stand to make less money, and who’s going to drink all the Colt 45 I’ve ordered?”
“Colt… 45?” asked the DJ with a tinge of disgust embedded into his query.
“Yes, Colt 45.” Said the Promoter “They’re sponsoring the Grand Desert Party By The Lake. So while you DJ, you’ll have to wear some Colt 45 merch… it’s in the contract. You have a choice between this all-over print Colt 45 toga or this Lando Calrissian children’s Halloween mask. You look a bit confused so I’ll just leave them both here for you to decide while I go send out my mass email.”
The Promoter trots away in childish excitement but stops a few feet away from the DJ and turns to him, “ Oh! I almost forgot! Money is somewhat tight for this 1st party, so is it cool if I pay you later? Though Colt 45 is giving me about $10,000 so they can use our party for branding purposes, a majority of that money is going toward renting out this lake here.” The DJ stares at the Promoter blankly. “What’s that confused look for?” continues the Promoter, “You think lakes are free? My friend, must I remind you that god labored for 6 days to create our glorious planet including this majestic lake and one cannot even begin to calculate god’s hourly wage, which even you must admit is more important to be paid off than the fee of a DJ... I mean, you don’t even spin actual records…”
Stay tuned for future adventures of Morally Naive DJ and Unscrupulous Promoter!
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