Hello Universe!
I went to Aruba with Diplo in March. We were supposed to be there for three days, but he ran away back to Jamaica after eight hours. This is my story, in pictures.

The gig was at the electric company. They do a dance there called “Hoogspanning” so there was a warning on the door that said mad hoogspanning is about to take place. What.

This is the homie Basic One. He did the crazy Pon D Floor dutch patois mashup. The two kids in the back are Diplo’s cousins from Aruba.

Pon de Floor – Basic One (Aruba) Remix.

All the food in Aruba is fried. I don’t think they bake anything, not even the bread. Just mad fried shit. So after the club you go to the trucks down the street and eat porkchops and french fries. Yup, pork chops at 4am. What you know bout dat? Probably nothing. Look at homegirls face. She just forcin that porkchop down.

This is the homie Arien from the Intifada Sound System. He’s part of a small crew of kids down in Aruba that have a really interesting scene going in terms of electronic music, DJing, visuals, all sorts of weird shit. It’s a relatively new scene in Aruba, some of the guys were in Holland and Germany and whatever so now they’re back on the island doin the damned thing.

After the gig, diplo got all crazy and decided he had to go back to jamaica right away. So I found myself stuck in Aruba with his crazy dutch nephews. They showed me a great time though, they even took me to this Pet Cemetary beach where all the arubans bury their dead puppies and erect crazy teddy bear homages to their gone but not forgotten friends.

Then we went to crazy military shooting range. I stole one of the cardboard targets and got detained by US customs. And then I forgot it in my friends garage in Miami. Le sigh.

WHAT IS UP with Arubans and their teddy bears. I wonder what kind of animal is buried under this roundabout. I miss my pet elephant.

This guy invented Aruba. He had tiny little hands and his daughter went up for Miss World. He still lives in that house, a kinda Che Guevara for weird dutch people. Then we went to the restaurant next door and played pool with the governor. I kid you not.

Basically all of Aruba looks like a Barbie play set. This is my friend’s house where we stayed.

The nexus of the gringo universe.

In case you thought I was kidding about all the fried food. The fast food in aruba is called Saco. It’s the most fried food you will ever see in one place. You get a fried porkchop friend chicken fried potato fried ice cream. It’s crazy. But the bypass surgery is really good out there.

Finally, I’d like to introduce you to my Aruban girlfriend. She guards a pirate tavern. Her steeze is so mean.